I am not an easy person to love. Some days I will whisper how beautiful you are while planting gentle kisses all over your body. You will giggle and try to fight me off and in that moment my heart will have never felt so light.
But other days when my mind is a storm cloud threatening to explode, I will be a bundle of emotions that I cannot quite keep contained. I will be cold, distant, and you will look at me like I am not the same person you fell in love with.
I am a broken light switch. My moods flicker without anyone flipping me on and off. I wake up each morning and wonder which me you will encounter that day. I always hope it is the one who makes you want to stick around.
I am not easy to love. But what I need you to understand is that whether there is a war raging inside of my mind or I am the kind person that you adore, I will always love you.
I will love you in the morning. I will love you when you cry. I will love you when I am angry. I will love you when you’re being stubborn. I will love you when I don’t even love myself. I will love you.
I know that there will be days when you want to give up on me but I am asking you, please don’t. You see, you are the only one who has been able to settle the storm inside of me before I even realize it is surfacing.
I am not easy to love but I promise that I will always put up a fight. And I will love you no matter which me my light switch flips on that day.
“You don’t actually get over things… you incorporate them. They become part of everything you are. I don’t mean that you walk about crying all the time. But you change.”—Mark Matousek, When You’re Falling, Dive: Lessons in the Art of Living (via glorious—headfuck)
& so what, if sometimes we spend hours talking about everything and nothing at all. Until I wish the phone wasn’t there and I was looking at your face. What we stay up too late naming the babies we swear we’ll have someday? What if we just laugh so hard that the phone lines echo with happiness? What if those moments are more important than the sleep I so desperately need? What if I love you more than anything.
“People are just as wonderful as sunsets if you let them be. When I look at a sunset, I don’t find myself saying, “Soften the orange a bit on the right hand corner.” I don’t try to control a sunset. I watch with awe as it unfolds.”—Carl R. Rogers (via floriental)
And when you figure out who and what really matters in your world, it’ll really put things in perspective. Don’t waste time on those that don’t make time for you but always go out of your way for those that do the same. People who truly have your best interest at heart are hard to find so if you do, don’t let them go.